LA DONNA NELL’ANTICA ROMA: 5 cose che forse non sapete

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donna romana con orecchini

Livia, Agrippina, Elena… sono solo alcuni dei nomi femminili che, durante la mia giovinezza, erano protagoniste delle favole che la mia levatrice narrava, per insegnarmi come vivere dignitosamente la vita, nel bene e nel male. Erano donne importanti, potenti e colte, ma che non riflettono pienamente lo stato della donna in quest’epoca in cui Roma troneggia su tutti gli altri popoli. La vita di una donna comune è ben diversa da quella sfarzosa di queste famose figure, anche se posso affermare che, a modo loro, hanno avuto un’esistenza difficile da vivere, seppur per motivi diversi. Per capire bene qual è la situazione femminile nella Roma del mio tempo, vi consiglio vivamente – a quanto ho potuto origliare durante l’ultimo banchetto tenuto da mio marito nella nostra dimora – l’opera di Tito Livio “Ab urbe condita”, dove attraverso alcuni aneddoti è possibile capire meglio la situazione della Capitale. Ho sentito che Livio nel suo testo ci restituisce la trasformazione del ruolo della donna dall’età degli eroi, come viene definita, che ha nella figura delle Vestali l’esempio principe dell’importanza del suo ruolo all’inizio della formazione dell’Urbe, fino alla classica immagine della matrona romana, fedele e riservata, che tutti gli uomini del mio tempo amano e bramano per loro stessi. Tuttavia i costumi, così come l’arte e le tradizioni, mutano a seconda del tempo che si affronta e, sulla soglia dell’età imperiale, ecco che la nostra figura muta ulteriormente. Per farvi capire meglio, vi voglio raccontare alcuni aneddoti capitati a me e ad alcune mie amiche, quando finalmente siamo riuscite ad uscire dalle mura domestiche nelle quali trascinavamo la nostra vita quasi come recluse, per addentare il frutto maturo degli spettacoli e della vita mondana Romana con la visione di rappresentazioni teatrali, spettacoli all’interno del circo e giornate alle Terme. Molte delle notizie che vi narrerò vi appariranno magari diverse da quelle apprendibili dai poemi di Ovidio, il quale, nel suo ruolo di consumato amatore, si riserva il compito di dare consigli e suggerimenti sull’Ars amatoria, ma fidatevi quando vi dico che la pazienza che mi state garantendo ne vale la pena. Roman_fresco_Villa_dei_Misteri_Pompeii_001

Senza ulteriori indugi, dunque, ecco gli aneddoti della mia vita e di quella delle mie amiche:

1) L’ingresso a teatro: un ottimo luogo dove trovar marito. La settimana non sarebbe potuta essere più noiosa, tra le faccende domestiche e i preparativi degli sponsalia, ovvero la cerimonia di fidanzamento per mia sorella e il suo futuro sposo. Mia madre non fa altro che lanciarmi frecciatine piene di disappunto, solo perché ancora non ho trovato un uomo e questa occasione imminente non fa che ricordarlo a tutti. Ma, per fortuna, questa sera andrò a teatro e quello, si sa, è un ottimo posto per conoscere giovani attraenti e di buona famiglia. Mi immagino già sfilare, dall’entrata attraverso i corridoi e su per le scale fino al mio posto, sotto gli sguardi attenti degli uomini, mentre le altre ragazze, poste in gruppetti, commenteranno il mio modo di vestire, cercando di sminuirmi. Non ci riusciranno! Se non sarà questa la serata giusta, domani andrò all’ippodromo o, meglio ancora, alle terme.

2) Il vino: l’anticamera del tradimento. “Mia signora, getti via il vino, mi è sembrato di scorgere il suo sposo, di ritorno dal mercato!” dice frettolosamente la mia ancella Lucilla, facendo capolino nella stanza. Mi guardo intorno, con la fretta che mi impedisce di pensare lucidamente, anche se non nascondo che potrebbe essere colpa del troppo vino che mi sono concessa. Mi affaccio alla finestra e rovescio il boccale il più velocemente possibile. Qualche sorso di latte basterà a coprire l’odore? No, no… ma che dico, è meglio mangiare anche un tozzo di pane e un po’ di formaggio. Se mio marito dovesse scoprire cosa stavo facendo per me sarebbe una catastrofe! Bere un qualsiasi tipo di vino è considerato quasi come un adulterio, perché gli uomini ritengono che noi donne non siamo adatte per reggere certe bevande, che facilmente ci fanno diventare promiscue. Sistemo le pieghe della tunica e vado verso l’ingresso della domus, dove mio marito sta facendo il suo ingresso. Mi sorride, ma passa subito ai fatti, viene verso di me e mi dà un bacio, il gesto di controllo per eccellenza per scoprire se una donna ha bevuto. Mi scosta e mi fissa… ecco fatto, mi picchierà a morte e tutto questo a causa di una stupida, vecchia, legge che nessuna ha pensato ad eliminare. “Decia, mia cara… hai mangiato del formaggio? Sai che non lo sopporto!”. 3) Io ti maledico! Eccole là, quelle due pettegole. Già so cosa si stanno bisbigliando nelle orecchie, mentre mi fissano. Mio marito è lontano, in guerra per conto dell’Imperatore, e la gente non fa che sparlare, dicendo che mentre lui è via io lo tradisco. Se questa voce dovesse arrivare anche a lui, una volta tornato, succederebbe il finimondo. Passo davanti a quelle due vipere, sorridendogli addirittura, perché loro non sanno cosa nascondo sotto al braccio. Le sento ridacchiare, mentre guardo il sole che sta velocemente calando, sarà meglio muoversi. Devo raggiungere porta labicana ed uscire fuori dalla città. Lì, stando bene attenta che nessuno mi veda, farò una piccola fossa nel terreno e vi seppellirò le due bambole di cera, che mi sono fatta fare proprio per l’occasione, ma prima trafiggerò le sagome con gli spilloni in bronzo che mi sono appuntata alla veste. Solo quando avrò seppellito il tutto la maledizione farà effetto e vedremo allora chi riderà. famiglia romana su una tomba di III sec. 4) Vade foras! (Va via di casa). Entro in casa e sento del vociare sommesso provenire da un’altra stanza. Sbuffo, appoggiandomi un attimo alla parete, in cerca della forza necessaria ad andare a salutare gli ospiti. Mio marito a malapena mi rivolge la parola, da quando si è invaghito di quella donnaccia ed ora, onestamente, non riesco a far finta di nulla davanti ai nostri amici, ma so che non ho alternative. Nella stanza c’è mio marito, insieme ad altre persone, che interrompe il suo discorso non appena appaio sulla soglia. Hanno tutti la faccia molto seria e nessuno mi sorride. Conto velocemente la gente intorno a me: sette persone, o meglio, sette testimoni… ho capito tutto. Mio marito si fa avanti, con freddezza glaciale e dice a voce alta: “Vade foras”. Avevo ragione, secondo la legge stabilita dal divo Augusto servono sette testimoni affinché un divorzio sia considerato valido, pronunciando queste due semplici parole. Finisce tutto così, con due parole e con lo sguardo, carico di compassione, di quella gente addosso. 5) Ma è tua figlia! Il dolore mi annebbia la vista e offusca la mente, ma in lontananza sento un pianto, che lentamente mi riporta al presente. Il parto è durato quasi un giorno e non ho più un briciolo di forza, ma devo aprire gli occhi, ma prima di farlo rivolgo un’ultima preghiera agli dei: “vi prego, fate che sia maschio”. Cerco per la stanza la piccola creatura che mi svegliata da quel torpore e il mio cuore va in frantumi. Un’altra femmina. La piccola viene posta ai piedi di mio marito: se egli darà l’ordine di allattarla potremo tenerla, altrimenti dovremo abbandonarla. Cerco nel suo sguardo qualche indizio su quel che sta per accadere, ma senza successo, alla fine mio marito fa una smorfia e, a testa bassa esce dalla stanza. Il silenzio, nella mia testa, si fa assordante. Articolo di Jessica Merenda.

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